With four children tucked up in bed and snoring the night should be my own. The dryer’s monotonous sound should lull me to sleep, however it is no lullaby. My thoughts are twisting like a tornado, whirling fast and grabbing hold of anything and everything that’s in it’s path.
The simile of the tornado has got me thinking about how destructive our thoughts are. How the devastation caused by persistent racing thoughts can linger many months and years after the damage was initially done. Personally, I can remember many comments that have taken root over the years and grown into damaging thought patterns and self-destructive behaviour. Heck, my marriage was based on one such comment that a few years before had torn me apart. I genuinely believed the erroneous comment – it had eaten away at me so badly that I jumped head-first into a second damaging relationship.
Today, I can say that I survived that chaos, life is better and slowly that damaging thought is being replaced with a hope in the future. I may be without a partner, I may have four children and work two jobs (which is another story of chaos survival) but I’m happy!
So back to the thoughts today – I’m thinking of the prayer subject I decided on for my Church to focus on this week. Did I make the right decision? I’m thinking about my rota for next week with my care work. I’m thinking of one of my ladies who had a fall this last week. I’m thinking of my Dad, and what he’s facing this coming week. I’m thinking about speakers and entertainers for two groups I’m responsible for organising. I’m thinking of three families who are all thinking of their own babies – one would have been 15 years old today (Happy Birthday baby girl, rest peacefully with the angels). One baby is just a couple of weeks old and the third is due any day!
What’s on your mind today? What thoughts fill your life with destruction? I pray you can find peace and survive the chaos too!